Monday, January 17, 2011

Overcoming a Divorce - 3 Helpful Steps to Overcoming a Painful Divorce

It's one of the hardest things a person can go through. Divorce can be challenging in so very many ways. You may feel like you are suffering emotionally, psychologically, perhaps even spiritually. If it was a particularly ugly break up, the effects can be devastating and take time to overcome. You may be asking yourself the same question that so many others have, "Where do I find help in overcoming a divorce?" It's not easy. It takes time. A person's self-esteem can be negatively impacted and issues pertaining to trust can and often do develop.

Most people marry assuming that they will spend the rest of their lives with their spouse. Learning from your husband or wife that they no longer wish to be married and would prefer a divorce can be devastating. If you are reading this, the odds are you have just recently gone through a divorce and are looking to get over it and move on. You may be dealing with some of the effects we just described. So where do you go from here? How to you overcome a divorce? Well, here are a few brief steps to set you on the path to getting on with your life.

  • Allow Time to Heal - As I mentioned, when you marry you assume it is a lifelong commitment. The abrupt ending to that commitment is a painful realization that you have reached the end of those hopes and dreams. The plans that you made together. The family you had hoped to raise. You need to allow time to accept the situation and allow yourself to accept that those dreams will not be coming to fruition.
  • Do Not Wall Yourself Off - As you go through this period of allowing time to heal, you may feel as though you want to "shut out" the rest of the world and not be bothered. To throw yourself a type of pity party. That is perfectly natural and actually fairly healthy for a day or two. But it is not a good idea for an extended period of time. Be sure you are communicating with your family and friends and be open to their calls, texts and e-mails. They are only trying to help and, quite frankly, this is the time you need them the most.
  • Get Back on the Horse - There will be a point in time where you will feel better about things, I promise. And it is at that point that you will need to get on with your life. Allow for friends to invite you out. Start to become more social again. Just take your time. The last thing you want to do is rush into dating only to find yourself simply crying on someone's shoulder about your recent divorce.

The biggest thing to take away from this brief article is that it takes time and there is no magic wand to help you in overcoming a divorce. But you will heal, life does move on, and you will get through it!

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