Monday, January 17, 2011

Possessiveness - A Hurdle For Relationship

Possessiveness, is a strange feeling which any normal person could get upon his/her partner. It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. First of all , possessiveness is not a problem to be looked at with a strict face. It is just a normal feeling which primarily arises out of insecurity. Any personal who is confident and got faith on their relationship would not feel insecure. On the other hand, a lot of people think that they might lose their loved once and try to take more control.

The cause of Possessiveness -

1. Insecurity
2. Lack of confidence or faith on partner
3. Jealousy
4. Lack of self confidence

Insecurity - The feeling of fear whether his/her partner would leave them for any reason is called insecurity. Everyone in this world feels insecure about something. In this case, it is their loved one's. The reason behind feeling insecure could also be reflected from the past that they had a bad relation or met an unfaithful person which made them carve their mind and mould it to have no faith on anyone else.

Lack of confidence or faith on partner- This situation might be as a result of the action of their partner. It can also be due to self centered quality of a person or due to the effect of very low self confidence.

Jealousy - This is often a term which is used as a substitute for possessiveness. But it is found to be true that both jealousy and possessiveness are tail tied. They dont have much difference at all. A feeling which makes a person think that their relationship is being threatened by a rival. This is very common in every human relationship.

Lack of self-confidence - The lack of feeling and strength in ones own heart can be a cause to find faults with others. Since the person is lacking confidence, faith level goes low and they start to try and take control over their partner in order to hold their relationship.

There is no believed solution to possessiveness. Since it is not a disease or disorder, it cant be removed completely. It is a feeling which needs extensive care and concentration to lower the level of possessiveness. Unless the person and his/her partner sit and talk about this openly there will be no end to it.

Some possible ways to solve this :

1. Find out the reasons to feel possessive about your partner
2. Avoid feelings insecure and have more confidence on your partner and relationship
3. Be honest in your relationship
4. Remember possessiveness is just a feeling and not a disorder. It can be removed if u wish.
5. Ask your partner to give u a reassurance of love. Make him understand and do something which keeps the faith and confidence intact in yourself.

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